Why We Love Memories
by fufulupin
Summary: Taking place in early Season 4, this depicts a day where Angel tries to get Cordy to remember her life.


Disclaimer: Me: *sigh* Do I have to say it?  
Angel: Lawfully, yeah.  
Me: I don't own Angel. Oh, and convienently enough, I'm not even sure I own part of the plot. The end scene is one I swear I remember from a Season 4 episode, but all my fellow A/C lovers insist otherwise. So, I wrote this. Hope you don't hate it.  
  
Angel smiled, a secretive kind of smile that made his friends wonder as he bopped around the Hyperion hotel that Angel Investigations used as Demon Hunters HQ. A good majority of the AI workers were in the lobby, reading or drinking coffee.  
Winifred Burkle sipped her drink quietly, watching her boss out of the corner of her big brown eyes. Charles Gunn, though he appeared to be dozing in an armchair, kept an eye partially open as well.  
The vampire was humming. That was unnatural. *Very* unnatural. Something was clearly up.  
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce raised his eyebrows over his latest book, a volume titled Demons Are Slimier Than They Seem. "Angel, are you feeling all right?"  
"Fine, Wes," he called back. Poking his head into the lobby, he added, "Has anyone seen Cordelia?"  
His employees/concerned friends looked up.  
"Cordelia?" Gunn asked blankly. "Blonde hair, hazel eyes, short temper?"  
"No memory of who she is?" Fred added softly.  
Angel nodded. "That's the one. Where is she?"  
"In...her bedroom, I expect," Wesley stammered. "Why?"  
"Because," the vampire replied mysteriously. "I have a surprise for her." As she swept from the room, he called, "Hold our calls.  
"Cordy?" Angel pushed the door to her room open tentativly. The seer was curled, fully dressed, on the bed, staring rather blankly at the far wall. It was as if she'd planned on getting up and facing the day, but had't been able to go through with it.  
He came in and sat gingerly beside her. "Cordelia?"  
She looked up at him. "Angel?"  
He smiled. "Yeah."  
"This is my room," she said shakily, as though she wasn't sure about that fact. He nodded.  
"Yeah, it is. But I want you to come out of it now."  
"Why?" Sitting up, she tousled her short hair and frowned. "I'm not remembering anything new, so what's the point?"  
"The point is I have a day planned out for you—for us, but it won't work unless you participate." He tried a disarming grin.  
"I always hated it when teachers told me that," she murmured, looking more like a lost child than the strong-willed woman she truly was.  
Angel blinked. "Wait, you rememb—"  
"At least, I think I would've hated it," she continued, oblivious to the way his face fell. "In any case, I hate it now."  
"Oh." At a loss for words, he fidgeted nervously. "Well, I just wanted to talk and stuff. But...it's okay. I'll just be downstairs, I guess. Seeing as you're not really up to this right now."  
Standing abruptly, he left the barren room, closing the door soundlessly behind him. Then, leaning desparingly against the wall, he closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath.  
The door opened. Cordelia smiled nervously up at him.  
"So what's this about having a day planned?"  
Cordelia wasn't going to admit it anytime soon, but she was actually having fun on this odd little outing. Since it was midday when they started out, her vampiric accomplice couldn't actually come out into the daylight, but he'd still managed to get them into several high-class stores for a shopping extravaganza via the sewer system. Now they were standing in a below-ground arcade and he was trying mightily to win something for her.  
As she watched, he screwed up his handsome face in concentration and aimed a bulky plastic gun at a target. A small stream of water hit the object's center.  
The little demon behind the counter grinned, waving it's eyestalks. "Nice shot, dude. Pick a prize for your lady friend, will ya?"  
Angel carefully selected a stuffed animal that looked like a puppy—until one saw the spikes on the tail. He offered it to her with a big grin.  
She laughed. "It's adorable, Angel! I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure I've never been given a demonic stuffed animal before."  
He chuckled, playing absently with the baseball cap she'd won for him. "That's probably a good thing."  
She looked up at him, hazel eyes gentle. "Thank you."  
"For what?" He glanced at the glowing sign on the wall depicting the current placement of the sun. It was on the verge of starting to set, making it safe for him.  
Grabbing her hand, he lead Cordelia out of the arcade towards the last part of her surprise.  
"Angel, where are we going?" Cordelia demanded, not unhappily as the determined vampire pulled her along.  
"Surprise," he muttered, glancing heavenward at the orange sky.  
They bolted along for several minutes. Just as she was ready to hit him both physically and verbally, he stopped.  
They were at a small lake. A boat was tethered carefully to the rickety dock and Angel didn't hesitate to usher her into the small craft. He swiftly untied to the boat and climped in, pushing off.  
She stared. He grinned. They sat in silence for a while, just admiring the beauty of the sunset on the water.  
Finally, Cordelia asked, "Why aren't you bursting into flame?"  
He pointed upwards. "Trees. Plus, when the sun sets, it's rays become less volatile. I usually don't like to test it like this, but hey. Special occasion."  
She leaned back, one hand lazily brushing the warm water. "Why are you doing this?"  
Angel's smile faded. "Because...I have to know something."  
"Angel..." Her contented expression changed to one of pure frusteration.  
"Just answer me this one thing." Pain wrote itself in his brown eyes. "Please.  
"Were we in love?"  
Her own eyes grew wet. "I-I don't...I wish so damn *badly* that I could remember, Angel. Everything. That kid lurking around all the time, Conner? I know he's your son. I've heard the history. But I can't remember what it was like to hold him in my arms. That picture on the table by my bed, of you and me lying there, sleeping with him between us? I want to remember that day."  
"Cordy..."  
"And the girl, Fred? She keeps trying to jolt my memory, I can sense it. Last night, she rambled for twenty minutes about tacos and killer toasters and some place called Pylea. I don't know any of it. Not like I should.  
"So can I answer your question? Were we in love? I'm not sure of what I felt for you Angel, once upon a time. But I can say this. Were we in love? It's possible. Are we in love?  
"Yes." 


End file.
